How to handle frequent wild tantrums?

[sad and confused]

My 2 1/2 year old daughter has always been such a joy.  She is extremely bright and "the life of the party".

In the last month something weird is going on with her and it breaks my heart. She is starting to have wild, insanely drawn out temper tantrums and doing things like biting her clothes and telling me "go away I don't love you" and punching me when I try to pick her up and comfort her.  She just goes under the bed and will go on for close to an hour sometimes.

I have no idea where this is coming from, she has always been a little angel ,it really is an all of the sudden type deal.  I think she is having issues with the fact that I am now working full time 8-5 ( I have no choice, I do this to survive). For the first two years of her life, I was a little out-of-balance and acted as her personal "jester". We went to the library, park, etc. for hours and played together all day and had a lot of quality time together. 

But the thing is she won't let me love her anymore, at least not recently. I'm not kidding you she picks something to throw a tantrum about as soon as she gets home from daycare. I've got the puzzles or her toys laid out ready to play and she just won't have it because she finds something to get insanely out of control about within 5 minutes (I'm not exaggerating about these tantrums, either, they are like the ones you see on shows like the Supernanny).

She's also so smart she has figured out the routine we've had since she was an infant for bedtime.  It's always been so precious and fun, first a really fun bubble bath with toys then storytime and prayers, and then a cartoon video she falls asleep to.  But all of a sudden she's figured out that bathtime is the first step in bedtime and becomes violently angry about getting into the bathtub. She also will not read books with me anymore and throws them off the bed.

I just don't get it, what did I do wrong? I love this little girl to death and have devoted the last 2 1/2 yr.s of my life to her happiness and her intellectual stimulation and development, and she was forever the happiest most obviously well cared for child you'd ever meet, and then in a blink of an eye she turned into one of those kids you see on the Supernanny. I have so much guilt because I don't know what I did wrong.  I don't know how to handle the tantrums. Ignoring them breaks my heart because I know she needs love. I'm only human and at times I have gotten mad to the point of screaming back at her which makes me feel even worse. I've tried making her happy by giving in to them and yet like 5 seconds later she'll be mad again. Everybody says be calm but I cannot be calm when my child is acting like she belongs in a mental hospital. I'd say ever since I started working a month ago I spend every evening trying not to lose my mind because she is in such a state. I'm just so confused. Has anyone experienced this? Any suggestions? I just want to have a nice, fun, joyful life with my daughter again. I don't want to punish her I just want her to be happy, but I absolutely cannot quit my job. We have to live and I am a newly single parent.

[besterd]

That is quite a difficult one. Recently I heard of a couple that went to a family psychologist to help them with educating and teaching their children the correct manners. They say that it's been working great for them and they see great results. So maybe you should try it.

Don't feel to bad when she tells yo she don't love you etc. Remember that it's a 2 1/2 year old kid and they don't think and mean what they are saying.